Prime Minister Scott Morrison has today declared victory at Mt Panorama/Wahluu on the weekend, awarding himself a trophy in the shape of a car that read “I won these”.
Reports suggest things started going pair-shaped for the PM when he told the driver of his car to slow down because “it’s not a race”, before claiming victory when somebody else crossed the finish line.
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“I did it,” claimed the PM, “I won Bathurst. I did it all by myself, this was a complete victory for me. ”
“I said I was going to be the front of the line and I was, no one can say otherwise. I didn’t even see the opposition leader on the track. Suck it Albo!”
“The sound of the car was so amazing, the roaring sound of ‘booooo’ as we raced round the track, there really is nothing like it.”