Scott Morrison brings radioactive capsule into parliament “This is Caesium-137, don’t be afraid!”

Parliament has been frantically closed for cleaning today, after MP and former Prime Minister, Treasurer, Health Minister, Finance Minister, Resources Minister, Agriculture Minister, Energy Minister, Science Minister, and Home Affairs Minister Scott Morrison brought in a capsule of Caesium-137 to prove it isn’t dangerous.

“This is Caesium-137, don’t be afraid! It won’t hurt you!” shouted Morrison as colleagues fled the room. “Look, it even has a healthy green glow – aren’t you lot always banging on about wanting more green energy?”

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Asked why he wasn’t wearing protective clothing, Morrison explained that he doesn’t think it’s necessary. “I got by without the safety mask while welding, so I don’t really see the need,” explained Morrison. “In fact, since then I haven’t really seen anything at all.”

“But don’t worry I planned ahead and have organised enough iodine to prevent everyone getting sick!” continued Morrison. “It’ll be here in 6 months, or whenever Kevin Rudd gets around to calling Pfizer.”

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