I spent Christmas day crying this year

I’ve debated with myself about whether to write this post, and share my personal experience of my Christmas sadness this year. Part of me hesitates, because I know people are generally very uncomfortable with sadness.

For a lot of people if we experience sadness in our lives, we feel that it means ‘something is going wrong’. Likewise, for a lot of people, if we know someone else is experiencing sadness, we either want to avoid them, because it’s a ‘downer’, or we want to ‘cheer them up’ and help them ‘get over, whatever has them feeling blue’.

My Christmas day sadness wasn’t even really about me.

In the big scheme of things, I am extremely blessed.

I have a family who love me. I’ve been loved and wanted from before I was even born.

I have a great life, a comfortable home, in a beautiful part of the world. All of my personal needs are met abundantly. I have everything I need, and a whole bunch of the lovely little extras that I want. Like the whole house water filter I’ve been wanting, which my hubby bought us for Christmas. Nice!

For myself personally, I feel extremely grateful, for all the love, comfort, peace, good health and abundant blessings in my life.

Yet, still on Christmas Day, the sadness was deep. I could feel the hot tears behind my eyes. I didn’t really want to be sad, mostly because I didn’t want to be a dampener on the day for my hubby. Regardless of what I wanted, I felt sad, sad enough to cry, a lot.

I know enough at this point to know, it’s better to feel my feelings fully, allow the energy to move through without resisting it, and given space to be what it is, the energy naturally dissipates. When I surrender to the Divine flow of life as it moves through me, emotions come, and emotions go, in a never-ending flow. My emotions nourish, inform and enrich me, I welcome what comes, and am present with it all.

If you’re my friend on facebook, or follow my profile, you’ll know, 2018 was a BIG Year for me. I’m participating in something we’ve called ‘The Great Awakening’. Which is a process of awareness raising, or consciousness raising, that is happening across all aspects of our humanity on planet Earth right now.

Just like individuals can go through personal awakenings, and discover a whole new way of being in the world. Currently there is a collective awakening of human consciousness to the truth of our shared reality here on planet Earth.

Specifically, most of us have been conditioned not to think about, or talk about certain difficult subjects. There are some very dark things that are part of our current reality, like war, terrorism, and a massive black market that trades in human suffering. Human trafficking is the biggest black market on Earth. There are 10,000 – 20,000 children per day, sold into slavery, including child sex slavery and for organ and blood harvesting happening now on planet Earth. That’s an absolutely horrifying reality to be consciously aware of. Which is why the majority of people, simple don’t think about it, ever.

I guess I’ve always known to some extent that there were other people suffering in our world. Even though my direct experience is one of always having been loved and looked after by my family.

When I was little my mum, and or my nanna, would help me say a little prayer each night before I went to sleep. We prayed for all the hungry people, for all the poor people, for all the sick people and the homeless people, especially the children like me. I didn’t personally know any of these people who were suffering, but I knew they existed, and I genuinely wanted so much for their troubles to end, and for them to have everything they needed to live their own happy, healthy, love-filled life with their family and friends. I didn’t understand why some had so much, and others had so little, and I didn’t understand why the grown-ups didn’t get together and fix things.

As I grew up and became a teenager, I saw more of the corruption and the injustice in our world. I started to become aware of money, and wars, of the fact governments and corporations were happy to compromise the well-being of people and our planet in order to ensure a ‘healthy economy’. Which never really made any sense to me. I thought a truly healthy economy would be one where all people and our planet thrive in genuine well-being.

I looked around the world from my little vantage point, and decided that the best way to deal with all the immoral and destructive goings on in our world, was to tune it out and ignore it. That seemed to be the approach of most of the adults I knew. Accept for my Nanna Merle, who I remember held a pop-up café’ in her backyard to raise funds to dig a well in a village for an African community. The well meant the women and children would no longer need to walk for miles to collect their water each day. My nanna cared about people, even ones she’d never meet, and she did what she could to make a real-world difference.

I did tune out all the darkness in our world for a long time.

I just focused on me, on my little family. On raising our son, and helping my hubby with his businesses. I focused on our finances, and getting us into a stronger position. First by buying our first little home, then by buying and renovating a couple of investment properties, and making enough to get us out of the suburbs, and onto our own little farm. I focused on my own studies and work. I read 100’s of books about all aspects of life, business, finance, personal development, professional development, leadership development, community development, project management, conscious creation, the nature of reality, and how life works.

I immersed myself in my own pursuit of knowledge and purpose in my life and my work. I wanted more than anything to be fulfilled from the inside out, and to feel at peace in my life and at home in my skin. I devoted myself to empowering myself to live a life true to my soul, which I am and I do.

It took a long time, and A LOT OF INNER WORK, before I eventually developed a deep understanding of, and connection with, my own soul. I liberated myself from the daily grind, giving up the work, the people and the places that sucked the life out of me; And instead I slowly and steadily found my own Divinely Guided Path personally and professionally.

I invested in a specialised Enwaken® Energy Coach yearlong training in 2010-2011. Which helped me clear out even more of the unconscious energy and ideas that kept me from fully stepping into my soul empowerment. At the same time, I also learned some extremely valuable tools to be able to assist other people to step into your own soul empowerment too.

Coaching comes naturally to me. I genuinely care about people and want to see everyone realise our Divine Human Potential, so I coach with my whole heart and soul, I give it my all. Which has enabled me to help 100’s of people, over 1000’s of sessions to understand themselves at a deeper level. To free themselves of old, unhelpful, fears, doubts, limiting beliefs, and let go of stored trauma, painful memories and experiences from their past. My coaching helps people connect with and open our hearts, to engage and develop our own direct connection with our Divine Soul, for direction, creativity, wisdom and a felt whole body experience of genuine soul self-love (being truly at home in our own skin).

For a while I felt challenged and fulfilled by my coaching work alone. I still wasn’t looking at or thinking about ‘the worries of the world’. Gradually things changed. As I continued to dive deep into my own soul awareness and be guided by the love and the natural curiosity in my own heart, I started to remember my larger purpose. I started to remember, why I am here.

A little of my back story:

I’m not a religious person. I was raised in a very loving Catholic family, and my mum dragged me to church every Sunday for the first fourteen and a half (not that I was counting) years of my life. I am a woman of immense faith and I live in direct and constant communion with the Divine. I do not attend church, except to support other people in celebrations of their special occasions.

As a young girl, I liked listening to the stories of Christ. I liked hearing about how he dealt with difficult situations, and difficult people. I LOVED how he always challenged authority and called out powerful people who were not using their power for the good of all. I learned a lot about what love looks like in practical action. I also learned the prayers we had drummed into us with constant repetition. I don’t like people telling me what to think, or how to feel, so I certainly don’t like people telling me what to pray. My prayers are between me and our Divine Creator, they form naturally in my heart. I did however learn Our Lords Prayer, and there’s part of it that has always resonated deeply with my soul.

Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.


There’s something in these words that points to something deeply rich and meaningful. A vision for a bright and beautiful future for the creation and realisation of Heaven on Earth.

I remembered my purpose.

Above and beyond being true to my own soul and building my own little heaven in my heart and in my home, I remembered that the greatest fulfilment of all comes from being of genuine service to other human beings, and working collaboratively with others to collectively co-create and build our real-world Heaven on Earth. This is what I’m here for!

My inner work and Divine inquiries went deeper. These were some of my questions, and what was revealed to me.

Heaven on Earth. What does that mean in practical terms? What is Heaven?

For me Heaven is in my heart. It is my own direct connection with and experience of the Divine. It’s the energy and awareness of our Christ Consciousness. The presence that enables us to be both completely free and unique in all the Universe, and infinitely connected in love and harmony with ALL THAT IS. It’s the consciousness that enables us to be everything and nothing, everywhere and nowhere at the same time. The consciousness that enables us to be powerfully loving, creative and wise beyond measure. It is the consciousness of our Divinity.

Heaven is a place of powerfully exciting PEACE. The kind of peace that makes all things possible.

Then how do we bring the Divinity of Heaven to Earth?

For Heaven to be grounded and built in our physical world on Earth, it requires us as human beings to open our hearts and be governed by love as an individual in our own lives, and collectively as a Divinely Directed Humanity, working toward well-being for all.

As an individual person, we each have our own unique creativity, curiosities, and divine gifts. Which means our direct experience of, and contribution towards Heaven on Earth, is always unique to us.

I wondered about what Heaven on Earth would have in common for us all, and the answer came, PEACE. Real and lasting, genuine world peace, with people at all levels committed to enabling and facilitating the maintenance of powerful peace as our shared priority.

And then I started wondering… if every soul has the seed of peace planted in us from our Divine Conception, why don’t we already have peace on earth? What is stopping us from realising our Divine Human Potential to become conscious loving creator beings? Why haven’t we already got our Heaven on Earth for all people and our beautiful planet?

They were the questions that opened Pandora’s box for me.

What started to unfold next I could never have predicted or imagined. From the peace, privacy and comfort of my own heaven in my heart, the light shone from me, and guided my awareness into the darkness in our world. I started to see EVERYTHING in a whole new light, the light of truth.

The superficial veil of a world that is seemingly functional and that I had thought was governed by basically decent people doing their best in tough circumstances fell away – and the truth and the horror of our current global power structure that feeds off of and diminishes the wellbeing of people was revealed. I saw the war economy. I saw how private globalist banksters are using a fraudulent finance system to enslave people and nations with debt they make up from thin air. I saw the tangled web of corruption that runs through all the current governing systems of our society. The compromised politicians, law makers, celebrities and media talking heads delivering fake news to keep us trapped in the current status quo. I saw the ‘for profit’ pharmaceutical mega corporations recommending a growing number of dangerous vaccines for our most precious and vulnerable people, promoting them and giving them out like they’re candy.

The most shocking discovery I made was that our politicians and many other powerful, highly respected and influential people are involved in paedophilia and child trafficking. More than just being random bad apples, there is a bunch of Elite families and trusted high ups involved in a Luciferian religion. These people are full blown Satanists. They have rituals and make sacrifices. They believe in the dark arts and that their practices are what wins them favour with Lucifer, their God of the (false) light.

I learned about the Luciferian elite cult and the existence of real-life VIP satanic paedophiles holding positions of power throughout our society by listening to first hand witness testimony. There are a small number of people who miraculously lived to tell, and found the immense courage required to speak out against the ‘Powers Who Be’.

This was a lot to process.

Ultimately though, after much research, and comparing information from MANY independent, yet corroborating sources, I did process this information and expand my awareness to include a more functional understanding of the current ways of our world.

My conscience kicked in, and demanded that I share what I was seeing. I saw the whistle blowers standing out on their own, risking their lives to speak the truth. Standing as a tiny individual human being of good conscience and speaking truth to power. These reporting victims are true heroes. They risk everything, and are being attacked on many levels as they share their testimony, to shine light on the truth of the current reality of the Satanic Empire that controls ‘the establishment’ and rules over human life on Earth.

At first it seemed too far-fetched to imagine there could be such a world-wide network and culture of depravity.  It was hard to comprehend the scale and the severity of criminality, the conspiracy and the ongoing coverup of the satanic wolves in sheep clothing. But the more I looked, the more I found. Satanism is indeed a religion, and the keepers of the secrets and the power are families of intergenerational Satanists who are groomed from birth, to become professional psychopaths, able to maintain control and to continue to exploit (feed off) the human herd.

These are the puppet masters and their puppets who rule over our shared humanity using every tool imaginable, and some beyond belief. They use the religion, politics, media, entertainment, pharmaceuticals, and the education system to indoctrinate us into their control system from birth. It is a grand scheme and a mass deception. It includes financial manipulations, mental emotional manipulation, social engineering and geoengineering (that is weather modification), all designed to keep us dependent on the system, and beholden to ‘the powers who be’.

We’ve all unknowingly bought into their lies, because we are naturally trusting of our shared humanity. We have a basic belief that most people are generally good (and we are). Our mistake is in thinking and that our leaders and decision makers are really just like us at heart, and so they’re doing their best to look out for us, as we imagine we would look out for others if we were making the big decisions.

The reality is, the system is rigged, and we are being ruled over by criminals and compromised individuals who have sold out the well-being of ‘all’ for their personal gain, or in some cases personal protection.  The ruling elite, Luciferian families are puppet masters, controlling their puppets and street level foot soldiers via bribery & blackmail, including ‘control files’ created to capture video and images of powerful/compromised people engaged in crimes against children.  The control files are used as leverage to make sure the puppets do as they are told.

As I’ve researched and started to piece together how ‘the satanic control system’ works, I’ve become aware of the many tentacles that extend out from the darkness, wrapped in false light, that are presented to us the unsuspecting, blindly trusting public as desirable. We’re being tricked by polished marketing, media manipulations and other satanic tactics into compromising our own souls and well-being in loads of little ways. It’s why in our society people can have all the external trappings of success, and yet feel completely empty on the inside. It’s why even in developed nations where all our basic needs are met, there are plague levels of anxiety, depression, addiction and unhealthy behaviours. Our minds may be tricked, but our souls know ‘all is not right with the world’.

Anyway, back to crying on Christmas day.

Over the past few years as I’ve learned more, I’ve become a social and political commentator, using my social media pages as a platform for awareness raising. I’ve been sharing what I learn, in hopes of prompting others to do your own research and discover the truth too. There are many others like me around the world, who have seen through the false façade, and understand the public needs to know the truth so we can get together and change things.

Mostly though, my awareness raising posts go ignored and unacknowledged by my family and friends. People don’t seem to want to know, or can’t cope with the truth, or would rather believe the polished lies of the corrupt authorities, rather than the raw truth of their fellow human beings.

My son says, “everyone knows the system is broken and corrupt mum. Nobody cares”. He seems to think the solution to my sadness at people’s lack of interest in the truth, is for me to stop caring about other people too, and to get back to focusing on simply enjoying my own comfortable life, and not thinking about the suffering of ALL THOSE LITTLE KIDS.

Most of the time I’m vibrant, full of life and hope for humanity. Most of the time I believe that when enough people know, people will care, and we will get together and change everything to make sure all the little kids of Earth are safe, looked after and loved.

On Christmas Day though, the sadness came in BIG WAVES, as I felt the pain of the absolute fakery of our superficial, materialist, selfish, consumer convenience driven society.

Christmas is meant to be a celebration of the birth of Christ, and humanity learning about our Divine origin and our Divine Human Potential. It’s meant to be about celebrating the life and the light of Christ Consciousness, which is truth. Yet in practice, the vast majority of people are completely disconnected from their own Divinity. People do token acts of kindness, generosity and charity to make themselves look good, or feel good. But when it comes to REALLY GENUINELY CARING about other human beings, children we don’t know, humanity as a whole and the world we’re creating together, most people have their hearts & their eyes shut, they really don’t want to know. Christmas day, I was feeling the grief and the sadness of our collective lack of genuine care for our souls.

I so deeply and desperately want SO MUCH MORE FOR US ALL.

Not more ‘stuff’ or more material success, but more love, more care, more connection, more compassion, more soul empowered loving leadership on our Earth. More honesty, more courage and more people who are genuinely committed to service of humanity. More people willing to seek the truth, and to stand up for and to protect all the children.

My sadness was not because there are evil selfish satanic psychopaths committing crimes against children and against our humanity on a global scale, but because my family and friends don’t want to know about it, or if they do know, they lack the soulful substance to care and participate in being the change we’re here to be. And I cried, and I cried, and I cried, feeling the sorrow of all the suffering of all our souls, especially the little ones still waiting to be loved and looked after, protected from the dark.

I cried until I remembered all the beautiful strangers I know, who are ‘woke folk’. I call them my truther tribe. People I’ve never met, from all around the world, who feel as strongly as I do about doing everything in our power to help facilitate ‘The Great Awakening’, and ultimately the destruction of the satanic soul destroying empire, and the construction of our real world Heaven on Earth.

To my truther tribe friends, you are my soul sisters and brothers who do genuinely care about other human beings, and our beautiful Earth, and can cope with the truth because you live in the safety and the light of your own Divinity. Bless you, thank you, I love you. You are the embodiment of the emerging Christ Consciousness in our world. Together we are the change, we will turn the dark ones to ashes with the light of our loving awareness, and the site will soon be cleared ready to start the construction of our real-world Heaven on Earth.

The sadness lifted, and I’ve gone back to work, trusting the divine direction of my soul, seeking truth, speaking truth and caring as deeply and as completely as I naturally do.

I remind myself, ‘The Great Awakening’ is a process, it will take as long as it takes. I am all in, whole heartedly committed. Whatever it takes for as long as it takes to realise our Divine Human Potential, and build our own real-world Heaven on Earth. It makes sense that my soul purpose is a life time’s worth of work.


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